How to Love Yourself & Be Loved

In Just 4 Easy Steps

Do you ever wish you could stop trying to prove your worth to that person in your life? It’s so exhausting. And did you ever notice that it never works?

Here’s what works for me. The whole video is just four minutes:

The Secret to Being Loved: Love Yourself First (Here’s How —>)

Is there someone in your life that you’re always doing for, always giving giving giving, and you always feel that the more you show your love for them, the more they back away?

I mean, yes, they’re always happy to take all of the things you give them and always happy for you to do more and more and more for them – but it doesn’t bring you the kind of relationship that you want to have with them.

I know. I used to be that “pick me!” person. And the more I tried to convince the other person how I was soooo perfect for him, the weaker I felt.

There was one important thing missing: The most important person who needed to love me was me. 

And once I could do that, then I received everything I’d been wanting. Like magic. Everybody around me changed. (Or did they? Maybe they loved me all along, and I just couldn’t feel it.)

If you’re still with me, let’s talk about this — and I have four steps for you to try.

How to Love Yourself (So Others Will, Too)

We all think we love ourselves, but I found out that – at least for me – it wasn’t true.

As soon as I decided to feel that deep, sincere love for myself, it started to feel crazy to me that I had been worried about what any other person thought about me. 

It can all happen that fast!

You just don’t have time to worry about what’s in everyone else’s head anymore. Because you’re completely focused on loving every single thing about yourself.

You start finding everything about yourself so lovable. There’s no longer anything to change or to hide or to cover up.

I know you’ve probably heard that other people are just mirrors of how we feel about ourselves. When you try the four steps below, you get a chance to see for yourself. You be the judge.

Once you start thinking of yourself as your favorite person of all time, everyone good in your life starts treating you with as much love as you give to yourself.

But, full disclosure: There will be a few people who hate this new incarnation of you. And you’ll finally realize that they’re the people who have literally been sucking the life force out of you. 

Sometimes they’ve been doing this for so many years that you can’t even see it.

Now it’s easy to let them go.

Every day, when you keep filling yourself with a never-ending supply of your own love, more and more people feel your sparkling, magnetic energy and want to be around you.

The 4 Be-Loved Steps

So, here’s what I do, in case you might want to try it, too.

1) Look in the mirror and say I love you. (I learned this one from author Louise Hay and it felt so cringey and hard to do at first. But soon, it became easy and really powerful.)

If it’s too hard to look at yourself in the mirror when you say this, you can leave the mirror out of it for now.

2) When you're telling yourself “I love you” something inside you might say, “No, that’s a lie,” so have a conversation with your inner voice. Assure her, “No it’s not a lie, I really do love you.”

It’s important to let your mind know that she’s not allowed to tell you lies about your unlovability. 

3) Let your inner child give you a big loving smile. (You can do this with or without the mirror, but once you can give yourself a loving smile into a mirror, you know that you’re really feeling the love.)

4) Think of some specific things you really love about yourself and say them out loud. (Remember that words are magic.) Maybe you’ve never thought of all the cool and unique things about you.

If you can’t think of anything right away, look for clues of things that you love and admire about yourself.

Power Tip: Try to think of fun things about yourself and not things about how much you self-sacrifice for other people or how you work yourself to the bone. (It’s shocking how we can think that the things that hurt ourselves are the things that make people love us. This is one of the big lies of all time.)

Keep repeating all the things you love about yourself. You can write them down on index cards, or do a candle spell to help you in your self-confident self-love.

Why Doing These Four Steps is Powerful:

In loving yourself, you’re counteracting decades of dissing yourself every day, in big ways and small.

Lots of us have a running commentary in our minds of all the ways we fall short: the judgy things friends and loved ones have said to us (or that we think they’re saying), and all the ways we negatively compare ourselves to other people — without even knowing we’re doing it.

How often do we ignore or discount the compliments and encouragement we do receive from others? Or not even hear it? I know I did.

And this: If we don’t believe it when other people say nice things to us, it can also take awhile for us to believe the loving things we say to ourselves. 

That’s normal. Just keep reminding yourself: I love me! If you keep doing this, your whole life can turn around in a matter of days. Because it’s magic.